10 Thoughts When…

Lets review a few fun facts about my life.

A) I have a boyfriend named MC
B) We are long distance
C) I am horrible at all forms of communication (excluding Instagram and Snapchat)

Well, this weekend I’m pretty sure I hit a peak in my life because MC told me he got accepted to Maryland for Fall 2017. Aw, it’s okay, I basically peed my pants of joy too when I found out. If you’re familiar with the transfer process for UMD then you know that the application is long, nothing happens on time, and they love to keep you guessing. So when MC’s decision was two weeks late, we had kinda lost hope that it would work out. Blame it on the system. Blame it on my acute pessimism. Whatever.

But sitting at my internship, rereading his message “I got in” ten thousand times, these were the 10 thoughts that immediately ran through my head.

  1. This is a mean joke. 
  2. Is this actually a joke.
  3. Wait, oh my god, this is real.
  4. I wish I could stand up and dance right now. 
  5. What would happen if I stood up and danced right now.
  6. My heart might explode out of my body. 
  7. I WONDER IF MC IS CRYING RIGHT NOW.
  8. I wonder if MC’s dad is crying right now.
  9. Remember to order him a present on Amazon. 
  10. I’m so proud of my boyfriend. 

It can be scary to think about merging two things that’ve been so separate for the past year. MC and I always say how we don’t really know each other as college students, but luckily that gets to change. The beauty of long distance, while super horrible, is that you can freely grow and change and bring a new perspective to the relationship. I think without our time apart there are a lot of things that wouldn’t have ever matured between us. Going to school together will probably prove to be another challenge, but at least it’s one where we can see each other without planning it weeks in advance.

Before I wrap this up with some cute closing line, I want to emphasize how proud I am of MC. It wasn’t an easy journey to get here, but he worked so hard to be a Terp. And no, he’s not just transferring for me. See, two people can want to be at the same place, irrelevant of each other. Strange concept, I know. Try and wrap your brain around it. And no matter where our relationship goes from here, at least we’re both where we belong, rubbing Testudo’s nose. 

So get ready for adorable Instagrams of your favorite couple decked out in red, black, white, and gold.


Stuck in my head: Wait // M83
Snap it: Towson, MD

Peace, love, JURD. 

Here’s What Happens When You Get 12 Hours With Your Given. 

Some teenagers live in angst and hate their families and write poetry about how tortured they are. I would classify myself as the opposite kind of person. I would trade a night on the town for 98% lean hamburgers with my parents any day. And no, it’s not just because free food. Okay, it’s a little but because of the food but mostly because they just get me. They really get me.

Last night, for the first time since school started, our family was almost whole again. With the exception of my Aunt Kris’s crew, my family as I knew it before college came together and had another entertaining dinner where topics ranged from dairy-free ice cream to the boy my Grandma wants my cousin to marry (Max Flax, am I right?).

I don’t think I realized how different home would feel without my cousin/partner in crime/best friend. Let’s call her Sara. But only for storytelling purposes. The first family function was strange, not going to lie. And no, not because conversation revolved around vodka-soaked tampons, that’s relatively normal, but because my sister still had her best friend there, Jake was still a loner, & now I was talking college midterms with my uncle instead of high school drama with my best friend. It honestly felt like a major loss to me. Was this a funeral or Rosh Hashana dinner? Okay, funeral is a little extreme, I mean she’s just in Ohio and we Facetimed her in, but still… loss is loss.

The funny thing is Sara and I barely ever talk outside of opinions on what to post on Instagram while we’re at school. I couldn’t tell you the names of her best friends before this weekend (I could tell you their Instagram handles though) and I had no idea she’d tried going to the gym twice since school started (So proud. Keep it up!). So when she crossed the street and gave me a hug outside the DC food truck festival we were meeting at I expected it to feel like a magical reunion, but instead it was more like “Why are we hugging? We never hug.”

Bottom line, it felt like no time had passed. She was still my mini, snot-filled, super trendy cousin. And we were in DC pretending to be hip 20-somethings eating fancy ice cream. Typical. 

Family has always been #1 to me but I think it didn’t hit me that I was not going to college with Sara until she came back to visit. & I know she’s having an amazing time, but the selfish monster inside me hopes she decides to transfer and come back home. Not actually. I mean Ohio State seems amazing and she has such an awesome life there. I just miss her. Sue me if that’s so wrong. 

Sitting around the table on Sunday night everything was totally old-school for a minute. I had my person to make eye contact with when our Dads made uncomfortable, overly sexual jokes. Saying goodbye was like when we said hello- it didn’t feel real. I’m not wishing her well until Thanksgiving. That’s crazy talk… But it’s also real talk. 
So I guess what I’m saying is college is great and I’m so happy you’re happy, but I miss my given. Until this year you weren’t going anywhere, you were a guarantee, but all of a sudden there’s 403 miles between us and I’m not totally a fan. I mean who else is obligated by blood to hang out with me and take long trips to the bathrooom with me and  finish internship projects with me? It’s only 2 months of 4 years, and I bet I’ll get used to it, but right now I just can’t wait until Winter break & the adventures that await us. Even though it’ll probably more like Christmas movies and Buredo in my bed because who actually likes the cold?

So here’s my only request- Don’t forget about our plans to move in together after school. You still say NYC but I’m team DC now. Guess we’ll see where we end up.  I just hope it’s together in a trendy little apartment that we’ll barely be able to afford. Because to both of us, being broke in city is just training for being rich in the city. 

Will I keep missing you? Buck yeah. Are you still my given? No doubt about it. 


Stuck in my head: Kids // MGMT
Snap it: DC Food Truck Festival

Doodie!! Miss you always!! Keep me updated!! I promise I will survive! 

“Doodie”- (affectionate nickname, f) The female version of dude, term for best friend, sometimes also referred to as “dood”, not to be confused with Doodoo or dudette

The Truth about Long Distance Relationships…

Let me first start by stating that I am not a relationship person. Well, I wasn’t a relationship person. Now I probably have to categorize myself as a relationship person because its socially incorrect to have a boyfriend for a year and call yourself “not a relationship person.” Right?

My point- they were all right, long distance sucks. I mean where is this so-called boyfriend when you look smokin’ hot and just want someone to tell you that. I’ll tell you where he is, he is a long distance away. But more than that, I never really imagined it being this hard. I mean MC (that’s him, that’s the boy) and I spent the whole summer apart (RIP summer 16 please never come back) and it wasn’t great, but we survived. Still, college seems to be a very very different ballpark than summer camp. All of a sudden it’s hard to even text because he’s in class and I’m at the gym, or I’m out with friends and he’s eating a meal, and the fact that he is currently living off a flip phone (the “Trap Phone”) makes this all the more impossible.

All of the above aside I’ve learned three things about long distance, and I call them “THE BIG Fs:”

F #1: Fighting. Get used to it. Every sentence feels pointed and offensive sometimes. Don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s not him, it’s distance. It has inserted itself all up in there in your relationship and made you think the world is ending with every word, but it’s not, you are just slowly going insane from lack of constant attention. Or at least I am. Please pray for me.

F #2: Finding. Seeing each other is actually so hard to coordinate. MC and I are only 40 minutes away from each other but we might as well be in different states in different countries on different planets. I don’t have a car, he doesn’t have a car. I don’t have a free weekend until October 6th, he doesn’t like that I don’t have a free weekend until October 6th (don’t shoot the messenger, shoot the business scholars program). As you can see, planning is tedious and horrible and hard and heartbreaking, but you just have to suck it up and pull out your day planner. Yes, I use a day planner. Google Calendar is too advanced for me. I’m working on it.

F #3: Friendship. Honestly, sometimes it feels like we’re back to those unfortunate 3 years before I realized MC wanted to be more than friends because all you can do is text and Facetime. I’m talking middle school level relationship right here. Static. Minimal excitement. Here’s an excerpt from our messages today:
MC: U done?
Me: No ugh so much hw i am dying
MC: its been four hours tf
Me: Econ
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like real good, stimulating, engaging conversation right there. Love that stuff. 

But in the end, that moment when I am finally hugging him and smelling his smell (I am not creepy, after a year I can sniff my boyfriend and have it not be creepy, okay? You date someone for a year and then get back to me.) make every single F worth it. At least for me, when I see guys at school all I can think is “wow, college has really cute boys, but why give up a good thing while it’s still good.”

And that right there erases those miles real quick. 


Stuck in my head: Cigarette Daydreams // Cage the Elephant
Snap it: Reflection Pool, DC

Related but unrelated: Happy anniversary.